Creating Routines That Develop Life Skills
Alright parents, school is in and your kids should be settling into their new routines, which I’m sure include 7-8 hours of school, 2 hours of extra-curriculars, and homework every day. You’ve got Friday night football, and Saturday morning futbol, and Cub Scout camping trips, and Girl Scout cookie sales, and how on earth are you going to get those little blood sucking ticks to do anything useful at all at home!?! And will they ever learn any actual life skills – you know, because they don’t teach that at school, so I guess it’s our job as parents to educate our tiny humans in the ways of laundry and dishes and budgeting. Maybe we should just wait until next summer when we all have more time. Cleansing breath, Mom; dig deep, Dad; we can do this!
In our house, we want our kids to do chores because they are part of a team. Everyone has a part to play, and the others are depending on them. There is no “allowance” given for this. You don’t deserve money just because you were blessed to be born into our family. However, we do want our children to learn to earn money, and then how to properly give, save, and spend it (that’s another blog altogether). This means we have bonus chores that can be done for pay. For some reason, we also don’t want them zoning out on screens in every free moment, so like any good Pinterest mom, I have a checklist they must complete every day before they are allowed to commence with the brain rotting. Here’s a little secret: kids like schedules. They like knowing what to expect. And you’ll like it, too.
One of the easiest ways to get your kids to pull their weight around the house is to have them help you in the kitchen. They will work side by side with you so you can watch them like a hawk and make sure they’re doing things the right way. Now don’t be jealous, but I have 7 children, which happensto perfectly coincide with the number of days in a week. Mind blown. I know. This heavenly intervention means that I can, with zero degree of unfairness, assign one child as my “kitchen helper” for each and every day of each and every week of the year. If you’re like me, you may be thinking “kitchen helper? More like more kitchen work for mom.” And let’s be honest, it does feel like that with some of the children. *cough, cough* Your kitchen helper gets to select the music you listen to while cooking, and helps prepare the family meal according to their level of competence. My six-year-old loves dumping bags of stuff into bowls, mixing things up, and setting the table. But when it’s my 16-year-old’s day, I sit at the table and drink wine and tell him what to do from my seat. (Now you’re seeing the brilliance of this plan, mwahahaha). The kitchen helper also unloads and loads the dishwasher for the day (with help when they’re younger). I know not everyone has the convenience of having 7 kids to evenly spread over a week, but take a look at your schedules and pick one day a week that will work best for each child.
Kitchen helper is not for pay. Everyone in the family eats, dirties dishes, and will someday need to know how to make more than macaroni & cheese. Some other chores that the team requires: washing, drying, folding and putting away your own laundry; cleaning your bedroom; cleaning your bathroom; cleaning the common rooms; and washing linens. These are best done on a rotation since we’re all so busy and important. No matter how young, everyone can help in some way. Most house cleaning items can be done every other week. Some even less frequently if you don’t have 6 stinky, sweaty, bathroom destroying boys, or more frequently if you do! Some of y’all may even have a cleaning lady that comes once or twice a month (God bless that woman! Pay her generously!), and you can get away with doing a little bit less each week. Your kids will grumble. You already know that. But stand firm. Each of these is a life skill. Tell them why they need to learn to do them (no, they cannot bring their laundry over for mom to do when they’re 30). You are basically being the best parent in the world for teaching your children how to function. They will thank you later! And if you have sons, your future daughters-in-law will love you forever!
I know, I know. That is a lot of work. What could possibly be left to pay them to do? Well, let’s see: mow the lawn, clean the patio, wash windows, take out the recyclables, wash mom & dad’s laundry or linens, babysit younger siblings, change the A/C filters, read and write a book report on a non-fiction book (knowledge is power), wash the car, clean the ceiling fans, wipe the baseboards, organize the hall closet or garage, clean mom & dad’s room, weed the flower bed, wash the baby’s laundry or bottles, clean the frig, bathe the dog, etc., etc., etc. You get the idea. Assign a reasonable dollar amount for each item, and let them get to work. They may not be interested at first, but when that new video game comes out and they’re broke, they will be much more motivated.
Speaking of video games, your pediatrician has most certainly recommended two hours or less of “screen time” per day. We only have one television, so that’s on a rotation as well. All other screens are stored at a charging station until they have earned that privilege for the day. The Burton kids must complete their responsibilities (homework, chores, practice an instrument, etc.) before they are allowed any screens. Mom doesn’t get to soak in a bubble bath and eat bon-bons until the kids are chauffeured around, work is done, groceries are purchased, dinner is served, and laundry is complete. Dad can’t take a fishing trip with the guys when there’s a project that needs to be finished by Monday at work, and there’s no money in the bank. Why, oh why, would we let our offspring believe they can have all the fun they want in life without earning it? (stepping down from the soap box; that is another rant for another day)
By now your mind is swirling with random chore lists, after school schedules, kitchen mishaps, and calendar pages are falling all around you like you’re in a sitcom nightmare. It’s too much. It’s overwhelming. It’s impossible! Right? Maybe. But before you give up, let me introduce you to your new best friend – the dry-erase board. Now depending on how many children you have, you may be able to get one of those super fancy ones that are set up as a calendar and you can fill in those nice, tidy boxes with gymnastics practice, marching band, drama club, chores, kitchen helpers, laundry day, and whatever else you want. There’s probably even something super cute by Lisa Frank that you can use. Being the mother of a small army, I buy the biggest blank one I can find, and figure out the best way to squish everything on there. Whichever route you choose, run on over to Target, blow $50 you weren’t planning to spend on dollar spot and clearance rack items, get a little something for your kids’ teachers (Lord knows they deserve it!), and another $20 on a good dry-erase board. You can even splurge on some pastel or neon colored markers – all in the name of organization and discipline, of course! I mean, how can anyone accomplish anything without color-coding each child? Get some Starbuck’s and head home.
Now you’ve got some ideas, you’ve got your supplies, you’re highly caffeinated, and you’re ready to boss those pantry bandits around! On your brand new shiny dry-erase board, with your rainbow glitter markers, create a schedule for everyone. I update ours once a week (I can only squish so much for 9 people). You may be able to fit a two-week plan on yours, or even an entire month. Go ahead and make any changes you need to suit your unique, precious family. You will probably discover you’ll need to make more changes a couple weeks in as you see what works and what doesn’t. And you’ll have to be ready to rearrange and swap days for birthday parties and holidays, and whatever other surprises come up. But that is the glory of the dry-erase board. It can handle it. You can handle it. This is so doable. You will be so proud of yourself. You will be so proud of your kids!